Sechs

Indecision. Indecision and regret piss me off today. Regrets at most choices I've made and indecision because I can't make most choices. Most people were given the ability to stand up for, well, themselves and make the right choices. Others are just dumb-asses. I am a dumb-ass most of the time. Yes, this sounds self deprecating and such but I admit I make bad choices all the time and end up regretting them. Well mostly because I have ended up where I am. It's not so bad but it should have been a whole lot better. I know you're supposed to just accept things as they are generally speaking but it's not so easy.(You wouldn't be who you are bull-jive...) I am a dumb-ass because I have no "balls". I let people take advantage of situations where it should have been a fair trade. It ends up being me getting shafted and hind sight usually ends up being 20/20 letting me know you could have done something about it. I see too late where I should have been smarter and done a wiser choice. It gets to be me turning into the under-dog and that gets me angry I have to bitch a lot. I let it happen. I shouldn't. I should be smart enough to take a stance/charge/what have you. But I end up going home pissed because once again I was "weak". It's all self-centered anger mostly, sure other people start me up on it(most people are self-important, impatient bastards. They are. When you go driving anywhere it shows itself everywhere) and I don't do anything about it until it's to late. Regret can be a bitch, and most people shouldn't have to feel it. Oddly, most people who don't are assholes. I guess it all boils down to being a good person and I know I will never be the "good enough" person I know I could be. Good person being smart on the draw and doing the right choice. It takes smarts which most times leave me behind with that deer in the headlights/Eli Manning playing quarterback look. Indecisions only take one second to take affect. Regrets last a life time, if you let them, which I carry around like lost luggage at an airport. Indecision will always be there. Life is too fast. Regret will always follow. Will I be able to let go? Only my blood pressure will let me know.